ACJokes Unleashes “The Beast”: The First Lab-Grown Comedian
- AC Jokes
- Apr 1
- 2 min read
🚨ACJokes Has Created a Monster: THE BEAST!!!
For 8 years, ACJokes has been conducting an extremely unethical experiment in international waters: creating the perfect comedian. Using cutting-edge comedy genetics (and zero regard for legal oversight), we combined DNA from our best comedians to forge the ultimate stand-up machine.
The recipe? Ray Vazquez’s quick wit, Buda’s commanding stage presence, Gary G. Garcia’s raw storytelling, Zach’s unpredictable absurdity, and—because we thrive on chaos—a handful of genetic material scraped directly off the microphone at our club. (We definitely shouldn’t have done that.)
This morning, The Beast emerged from its incubation chamber. Its half-formed beard grew in real time as it took its first breath and whispered its first words:
“So where you guys from?”
A chill ran through the lab. It was alive. It was already working the crowd.
Its first set was a spectacle. The Beast roasted the front row with Gary’s sharp edge, commanded the stage like Buda, hit punchlines with Ray’s rapid-fire wit, delivered Zach’s unhinged energy, and—possibly due to the microphone DNA—ended its set with a sneeze that somehow turned into a callback.
Then, as the audience erupted, it turned to the crowd and screamed, “I AM EVERY COMEDIAN. I AM NO COMEDIAN. I AM… THE SHOW!” before vanishing into the streets of Atlantic City.
No one knows where it is now. It could be anywhere—performing underground shows, heckling street performers, or, worst of all… doing improv.
If you see The Beast, do not engage. Do not try to out-roast it. And above all, do not sit in the front row.
🎤 Before comedy changes forever, catch a real ACJokes show while you still can.
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